The world is a scary place. It is full of scary people who want to do scary things. And sometimes they are more obvious than you would imagine...they have ruffled, uncombed greying hair, a squint in one eye and wear ill-fitting pants with a light-brown shirt and a tweed coat. And through some weird twist of fate (the back story of which i will conveniently forget to develop), they accquire enough nuclear weaponry to annhilate a few small planets. Lets call one such person Professor EVIL ( Am so original).
Such times call for a Hero unlike any other, a Hero who has the intellect, strength and agility far beyond any being in the DC or Marvel universe. A Hero whose mere mention is enough to make grown men seek the shelter of mama kangaroo,s pouch (i know, strange example). And there WAS such a hero. His name was "INDIFFERENT MAN" **shudders** ***collective gasp***
Indifferent man had super strength, super speed, super flying, super hearing, super smartness, super costume, super style , super sheer awesomeness although he chose to never display any of these super qualities because in his own words he "COUDNT BE BOTHERED".
And when the day came when Professor EVIL had decided to destroy every living being on the planet , on a whim, the world needed the hero more than any other time.
"All of YOU are going to DIE! i am gonna nuke the entire planet, and each and every one of you will have ur skin peeled of you! and even if you survive, you will Never survive the radiation, and even if you survive the radiation, you will NEVER survive the attack of the mutant Weasels!" Screamed Professor EVIL from a popular public platform
"OHKK! Fair enough!" the wise guy from the audience replied back "but if you nuke people from here , arent you gonna die the abovementioned gruesome deaths too, i mean shouldnt you be in a nuke-proof bunker or something?"
"AAH! i couldnt be bothered with the details, What matters is that my name will go down in History! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......."
"Point taken!" wise guy again "but if everybody dies, who is gonna report this remarkable achievement? i mean doesnt it defeat the point?"
"uhhh, errrmmmm.....You ask too many questions, stop pointing out loopholes in the PLOT! Now Play ALONG! say AARGHHHHH, we are all gonna DIE!"
Collective Scream- "AARGHHH, we r ALL GONNA DIE! " Terrified women in front of the camera "INDIFFERENT MAN! Where are you? Come SAVE us!
MEANWHILE!
Indifferent man woke up, put on his bunny slippers, stumbled into his bathroom, brushed his teeth, picked the newspapers, went back to the loo and took a dump and THOUGHT about taking a shower.
Back at the UNSPECIFIED PLACE amidst chaos and general public fear
Professor EVIL proclaimed "Nobody will save you, Not even god, Not any superhero, not the police, not any paramilitary forces, Not any random guy with a sniper rifle or a stone, while i just stand here unguarded with just a remote control in my hand and clearly not focussed! I will now continue with more of my evil maniacal Laugh! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
MORE public chaos , screaming , burning of buses and looting of electronic stores.
MEANWHILE,
INDIFFERENT MAN shaved, decided against a shower, took out some milk and cornflakes from the fridge, vaccumed the floor and generally scratched himself (and then some more).
BACK to U KNOW WHERE
Professor EVIL Shouted out" Anybody here with a BLUE TOYOTA COROLLA behind a Red Swift in front of Lazeez restauarant! please move your CAR! you are blocking the way of this nice family! Its precisely because of insensitive idiots like YOU that i am annhilating this planet!"
MEANWHILE
INDIFFERENT Man did nothing. Literally.
BACK TO the same place,
Professor EVIL THUNDERED" I,m bored. Am gonna go home. Lets do this again sometime tomorrow. Nice terrorizing you guys. Cheers!"
MORE Random screaming, burning of random cars, looting of electronics and underwear stores, And stone pelting at police.
MEANWHILE
INDIFFERENT MAN's Girlfriend came home. "Look what i looted today,honey! Look at this dress , and i got YOU this jacket! Do u like it?"
"hmmm!"
"GUESS WHY I GOT ALL OF THIS! I Am sure you dont even remember!"
"uhhh.....!"
"ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY!"
"So!?"
And thats the last anybody ever heard of INDIFFERENT MAN!
